Season 2, Episode 256: The Dark Side of Abundance

Do you over-compensate for your lack of abundance?

In this topical content episode, Michael looks at our propensity to run an abundance compensation routine. We frequently over do it in one aspect in our life in order to make up for our lack of abundance in another. This could work in any order (too much money – not enough love, not enough money – too much eating, etc.), but is a typical sign of something being out of balance in our lives.

Michael doesn’t set out to resolve any of these issues but to draw our attention to it as a “red flag” – a note to self, to pay attention and try to bring things back into an equilibrium, thus allowing abundance to flow evenly.

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2 thoughts on “Season 2, Episode 256: The Dark Side of Abundance

  1. Abundance and compensation:
    Really interesting episode, Michael. So often with these things we get caught up in our obsessive compensation cycles and don’t know that we’re even doing it, spending too much time and attention feeding whichever toothy beast within us gives us the hardest nudge. Hearing your episode on this caused me to step back and wonder if, as in my case, I’ve spent too many hours in the gym since my marriage failed heading toward two years now. Examining the lack of balance I have, as you outlined on your show, I saw that I have had no affectionate female presence in my life whatsoever in that time, just the odd dumbbells, kettle bells, and elliptical machines every morning before work. Along with a lack of female attention I find that my sandman within has also grown anemic.
    I took two weeks off from the gym the last couple of weeks and finding no inkling of balance from any women or the sad, skinny, sandman for that matter, I plan on just going back to my brutal routine when the week starts again in a couple of days. For now, my possible overcompensation in the gym will have to do. At the very least it helps me to feel that I have something that actually is in my control. Also I don’t feel bad about myself, which so often occurs when the area of my life that I am current lacking, isn’t.
    And I’m not talking about the sandman.
    Thank you again for your very very valuable show.

    Justin

    • I appreciate your comments and your situation, Justin. A couple of things I noticed in your remarks… It seems like you have an expectation of the balance to be Female Companionship on one side – Working Out at the Gym on the other. I probably should have explained this better in the episode. It is important that we don’t create a see-saw effect, bouncing up and down between one or the other. I’ve seen people do this – get in a relationship, let their body go, gain weight, split up… go to gym, get back in shape, attract a new partner, stop working out, rinse and repeat. Not that that is what you are doing, but just that there is now a correlated connection between the two is an illusion. I wasn’t very clear about that in my episode. They do NOT need to be connected – that is something we artificially create.

      What’s most important is that we become okay with the “gap” – that space that is neither in the relationship, nor at the gym. The being with what “is”. Being with ourself (which can often feel very difficult to do). This helps to erase that illusory connection; the sense that it is a one or the other situation.

      It is in this space that new possibilities can open up for us. Ones we hadn’t seen or imagined.

      AND I’m not saying don’t go to the gym. I’m just saying keep it balanced. Don’t overdo it as a way to avoid being with yourself.

      The other thing, which might relate to Episode 258, is to be careful of how you vision your first marriage. You used the word “failed”. This will inevitably lead to a sense that someone did something wrong or wasn’t “good enough” to make it work. If you make it all about yourself, then you’ll suffer even more. If you make it all about your partner, then you’ll play the blame game for years to come.

      And all of this because MAN (yes, we human beings) somewhere along the line decided to create this thing we call “marriage” and make it “until death do us part”. That is a complete setup for a future guilt trip. The truth is that your relationship had run its course, you both had grown apart, and your paths were diverging. See it for what “is”, and the word failed is no longer part of the framework.

      Thanks again for your comment and for listening!

      Michael